To help cope with culture shock it is good to break it down into several different phases…
Step 1: The Honeymoon Stage
When you first arrive to your destination, everything is new, intriguing and exciting. Simple things about another culture can seem complex and enriched. Friends and family from home are still close in your mind and everything is good.
A few examples I found interesting and exciting when I first got to China:
-little babies and children don’t wear diapers, but split pants. The parents some how know when their child has to go to the bathroom and the children are taught at a young age to squat and go to bathroom wherever they are…this means the sidewalk, street, park, etc.
-using chopsticks and eating rice at every meal
-people don’t know what a line is and how it works, everyone just rushes to the counter and pushes their way to the front, doesn’t matter who got there first
-the same with buses and bus stops, those little old Chinese women sure know how to elbow their way onto a bus first
I wish I could stay in this stage forever, but alas…
Step 2: The Distress Stage
After you’ve been living abroad for a little while, the simple things aren’t so exciting anymore. The language barrier is frustrating and nobody knows you like the people back at home. Differences are now creating a negative impact instead of a positive outlook.
I just hit this stage this past week. I woke up one day and just didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be around people who knew me and I wanted to be able to go to the store, see a price tag, pay for it without bargaining, and speak English to the shopkeeper. The traffic in China is outrageous and confusing. No one follows the rules, the bigger the vehicle, the more right of way you have. I didn’t want to get pushed and shoved on the bus. Suddenly I was looking at everything in a negative light, instead of a positive learning experience. I knew I was going to hit this stage eventually it just took being here for 2 months to hit it.
Step 3: Re-integration Stage
This stage is a continuation of step 2. You start to dislike the culture, language and the food. You reject it as inferior. You start to question why you came here in the first place, why did you change your life so suddenly. Thoughts of home start to creep in and you start to compare this unfamiliar culture with “back home”. This is normal and healthy. It means you are reconnecting with what you value about yourself and your own culture.
Step 4: Autonomy Stage
This is the beginning of acceptance. You begin to feel like yourself again. You start to accept the differences and feel like you can live with them. You feel more confident, no longer isolated and you are able to look at the world around you and appreciate where you are.
Step 5: Independence Stage
You are fully embracing the new culture and things are enjoyable. You feel comfortable, confident, and you are able to make decisions based on your own preferences and values. You understand and appreciate both the differences and similarities of both your own and the new culture. You start to feel at home.
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Everyone won’t go through these stages at the same time or in the same manner. It is just nice to understand some feelings in a progression and to know other people are feeling the same way. It is nice to talk to family and friends, to know that they are still thinking about me and that I didn’t ruin some friendships by moving to the other side of the world. Some days are harder than others, knowing I am the one that left, that I am the one who chose to do this. But I find comfort knowing I am here for the right reasons. He sent me here to do His work and He will help me get through those tough days. Please keep me in your pr-yers for when I go through those hard days and question why I am here. I also pr-y that He will give me the right opportunities to share His love and that I might feel and see His work being carried out here.
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